this is my life

i'm at a time where things are getting so exciting, yet so routine.

i'm constantly needing something new. this place is everything i need, yet it doesn't do it for me anymore. and i don't mean that in a bad way. my friends at home--if i didn't have them i'd be LOST. seriously. however, just being at home isn't enough for me. i need something more, something to rattle me. something to keep me going. and i'm working my ass off at something that should be enough, but its not. i just don't understand it.

yet at the same time, i'm finding a house that will keep me busy for months. cleaning, planning, painting, living. its all new, and its all mine. and i'm so excited. a whole new chapter in the same place. its exactly what i need at home sometimes. but you think the stability and consistancy at home would be a great little balancing feature in my life. sometimes i think i feel more at home when things are going crazy and i'm in the middle of a storm then when thing are in a routine. i get too bored too easily.

i don't know. i think its all a state of mind, and i had 5 cups of coffee today, so who knows where my mind even is.