"its my life, and i'm not sitting on the sidelines watching it pass me by"

its hard for me to wrap my head around that in forty eight hours i'll be in los angeles.

this was never a dream i had for myself growing up, but at the moment, it's one i'm savoring. i had never saw myself living in a huge city, let alone one of the three biggest cities in america. i thought for sure i'd be in the country somewhere in kentucky raising race horses. well, i've fulfilled half of that statement, anyway.

it's exhilarating. i'm throwing myself out of my comfort zone completely and going 2,457.94 (driving distance) miles away from the one place i consider home. and i'm terrified, but so exciting, its hard to contain.

i'm scared of things happening at home that i won't be able to make it home for. i'm scared that i'll miss the bus and be hours late for my first day at my internship. i'm scared of traffic that's backed up for hours. i'm scared of being surrounded by so many interesting and fun places, and not having anyone to go experience them with. i'm scared of falling out of touch with people, and missing others to death.

but i'm excited for street names i've been memorizing since march. for the neighborhoods i already know to stay out of. for restaurants i read about and can't wait to visit. for waves crashing under 5 miles away from my door step. for flip flop weather and sunshine (i'm from pittsburgh. all we know is overcast). for flashing lights and movie stars, and i don't even care about celebrities (and i've only been 'star'struck once. fame doesn't phase me.). i'm excited for l.a., for all the bad and all the good that resonates with the name.

i'm going with humble dreams and medium expectations, and i know i'll be chewed up and spit out and curse the place and have my heart broken. but i'm thrilled. i can't wait.