4 days to go

going back to school is always a sad thing. the prospect of moving into a house(!!!) and out of an apartment is so thrilling, its been keeping me up nights. however, i'm always a little nervous to go back. i hate leaving the life i have at home. always. i complain and rant about being home, about fights, about friends who let me down sometimes, about not having freedom, but the truth is it love it here. even though i'm going back to a completely new set of friends in kentucky (only a handful have carried on through the year), i'm excited as i can ever be.

i guess it might be the 'mom' in me that's a little nervous to leave. to be bluntly honest, i'm scared to leave my parents. not in the sense that i can't be away from home (if i couldn't, i sure as hell wouldn't be moving quite literally across the country in 5 months), but in the sense i'm nervous as to what will happen in the place i consider home of all homes. 3 children, and by this time next week the house will be as empty as it ever was, only emptier 21 years earlier. its a scary thought. its scary, because i'm positive it will be a completely different atmosphere to return home to come vacations. i can't even IMAGINE how it will be next may, if i don't stay in la.

weird.